Shots fired
by SaidbhinLuch
Summary: In typical fashion, Daniel does not react well to the news that Jack had to shoot him when Anubis managed to infiltrate the base. And as always Sam is stuck, unable to escape the childish squabbling that ensued. Frustration, humour and Sam's wishes for a violent end to the argument. Rating is a just in case.


'You _shot_ me.'

'Yes Daniel and I did, and I'm _sorry._ Can we please move on?'

'I'm sorry Jack, but the fact that you shot me is actually _really_ irritating.'

Sam personally was finding the entire conversation annoying, but being the nice fool that she was she kept her mouth shut. The two men in question were sitting side by side glaring at one another, as they sat in the commissary. These childish debates had clearly become common place as everyone else milling around them was ignoring the pair.

'You had lost it! What else was I to do?'

'I don't know, _not_ shoot me.'

'Yes, when someone is threatening to kill people, the path of non-violence is clearly the way to go.'

'You could have zatted me. Less blood.'

'I couldn't have known that would have stopped you, you _weren't you!'_ Sam had foolishly thought that _maybe,_ the number of this merry-go-round arguments she'd be attending would go down with both promotions.

Unfortunately when it came to these two, she usually ended up being wrong.

'My shoulder hurts!'

'I'm _sorry_ I had to shoot you! It wasn't like Anubis gave me much of a choice in the matter!'

'It _really_ hurts!'

Was it too much for Sam to remark that this whole conversation was _painful_?

'I said I was sorry Daniel what do you want as an apology? The fracking HOPE diamond?' The General was now flailing wildly, causing Sam to lean back in her seat, fighting the urge to hide behind her coffee cup. Daniel adjusted his sling looking almost completely done with his friends' antics.

'You admitting that you might have had another option would be nice.'

'I can't do that. There _was no other choice Daniel._' She wanted to get up she did, but it was one of those situations in which she had no out. Up the creek and the two in front of her were beating each other with the paddles.

'Sam?'

'Carter?'

The woman in question now wanted to shoot herself in the foot. She had frozen with the mug in front of her mouth. Both men stared at her expectantly, Daniels head even dropped jaw tensing wondering why she wasn't speaking up for either of them.

'No.'

'Sam!' Once again the boys were speaking in unison and she just wanted to knock their heads together, anything for a bit of peace.

'Carter c'mon!'

'No.' She shook her head, heaving a sigh and shook her head even more vehemently.

'Uh uh. No. NO no no NOPE.' She repeated pointing at the both of them, eyes widen and she feared, slightly panicked.

'I- just NO! Enough, please, let me enjoy my coffee in peace. Sometimes it's like I'm your mother, and I'm younger that _both_ of you.' She slammed the mug down and had to bite down on her own urge to flail, instead clenching her fists tightly. Daniel's looked baffled and a little worried for Sam, whereas the General was frowning, eyes narrowed, one squinting more so than the other. She was pretty sure he was trying to process her words and was choking on them.

Daniel opened his mouth but it snapped shut as Sam's face hardened, and she would swear up and down that he swallowed hard.

They sat in an awkward silence as Daniel was nervous, the General weirded out and Sam still irritated and fuming.

'Am I not allowed to be insulted by the fact that Jack felt his only option was to shoot me?' Daniel, being Daniel could stop himself, Sam glared at him, but he was staring at the General caught up in his state of self-righteousness so he missed it.

'Of course you are Daniel.' Sam smiled tightly however the righteous member of their team seemed to miss the tension in her face. He totally skipped past the patronising sarcastic tone in her voice.

'But, you should really think before you get all wound up about something like this.'

'Oh?'

'Shooting you was not an easy decision do you hear me bring it up?' Daniel gaped, and the General blanched, then he looked at her in complete shock. As Daniel closed his eyes, Sam shot him an apologetic look, lifting her shoulders.

_It's the only way to shut him up._ She mouthed over at him to which he just shook his head, mouth tightened and amazed, but not in a good way.

'Sorry.'

They sat in a tense silence, Daniel looking ashamed with himself and the General was trying not throttle either one of the two scientists.

'Okay, fine Carter gets the next shot at me, then you Daniel okay?'

'Can I punch you instead?' Daniel tried smiling at her the General glared and poked him in his shoulder causing him to yell out. Once again San marvelled over the fact that no one was reacting to the shout. The base had really become oblivious to them, though given their work Sam couldn't really blame them. Her head dropped to her chest as the pair began to squabble again.

'Can I trade my shot for kneeing you both?'

Both heads shot up and flinched, the table bounced and judging by Daniel's flinch it was him who moved his leg instinctively. The General actually looked impressed by her question, his head tilted as he smirked.

'You do know you'd get in a lot of trouble for striking your commanding officer? _Especially_ your commanding officer?'

'Oh please, all I'd have to do was hack into the security feed, isolate the conversation and I'd be getting a nice new shiny promotion for all of my hardship. _Sir._' She gave him her cheesiest grin, which was just a shade away from horrifying. Both men gave each other panicked looks as they took in the grin and tried to smile back.

'We won't do it again, we promise Sam.' Daniel nodded as earnestly as he could and the General gave her his usual awkward face scrunch.

'Me getting to the hope diamond from either of you has a better chance of happening then _that_.'


End file.
